Reflections: Thoughts on Mindfulness and discovery/understanding of one’s self

Our notions about happiness entrap us. We forget that they are just ideas. Our idea of happiness can prevent us from actually being happy. We fail to see the opportunity for joy that is right in front of us, when we are caught in a belief that happiness should take a particular form.

~ Juddu Krishnamurti

I need to be happy. It is the expectations to which I cling that cause suffering. I must focus on those things which I can control. I can not, nor do I aspire to, control others. While my mind knows that the television and films that I have been raised upon do not reflect the broad spectrum of reality - the perfect family, relationship, etc. - I must not allow these things to become an expectation or belief that the reality of my life - or anyone’s - can be reflected as those stories or scripts - the words of a writer’s fantasy and imagination. I must live and find beauty in the moment and not, to use a metaphor, put life on hold and not enjoy the days of the week, living only for the weekend. I must savour each and every moment, regardless of their emotional colour.

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One is never afraid of the unknown; one is afraid of the known coming to an end.

~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

Despite knowing full well, despite the cliche, that “all that stays the same is change”, there is a part of me that clings to what Krishnamurti is alluding to here. This is why I spent the last ten of the twenty years in my marriage, even though I knew that it was negative for both mu daughter and I. It is like the abused spouse staying with their partner (and I believe that what I endured would be considered as abuse), or the unhappy worker who remains in the job that they hate. We fear that known coming to its conclusion. When I reflect on my life, I see many “ends” and “beginnings”, intermediated by the unknown. As life is, things ebb and flow. Rugby, my years spent as a Correctional Officer, teaching - each had its own epoch and challenges. One’s holding onto such things - just like in the previous entry in my writings on happiness - it always comes back to our expectations and insecurities. Despite it all, the sky has not fallen. I must, in the Taoist sense, yield to the winds of change as a tree, or, alternatively, snap and break from being rigid.

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Don’t let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace.

~ Dalai Lama

Sometimes I can feel like I have no inner peace to begin with. So often, I feel the tumult of chaos and exhaustion in every fibre of my being. I often feel that I have given more than I have to give, leaving me with a sense of both an emotional and physical deficit. I need to build within if I am to withstand life’s storms. I need a rock upon which to build and supports the structure of self that I am endeavouring to construct. My foundations oftentimes feel as if composed on sand, with the wind perpetually in my face. I need a vacation - a time to rebuild and replenish myself, and free from the distraction of those niggling gremlins of doubt and self-defeat - none of that is real, but, rather, an illusion for my undisciplined mind. I am born to serve, but all tools require maintenance if they are to continue to be of any use at all.

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Our own life has to be our message

~ Thich Nhat Hahn

My work is always what matters most to me. I fight. Always. I try to affect change, oftentimes with the grace of a bull and the diplomacy skills of Attilla the Hun. When I am gone from this earth, I hope that my legacy is what others have learned and gained from my work and having me as a part of their lives. I do not wish to be recognized, nor do I care if I am remembered - it is not about me, its about inspiring others to live full, productive and joyful lives. What matters most is that others move forward in a loving and compassionate manner; that they too promote these ideals by way of their actions, for this is how we truly change the world. To speak for those who have no voice, and to battle for justice and understanding. 

I am nervous about potentially being in the documentary film on mindfulness, being made through Fox Studios Australia. I am no one’s guru, and I don’t want it to focus upon me. It needs to be about the work, not the individual. I hope that it provides hope for others who are affected by trauma, stress, depression and anxiety through methodology. I am far from a role model as I continue to face my own internal battles. This whole film came straight out of the blue. Definitely, I never would have thought such a thing would happen.

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Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.

~ Henry David Thoreau

My reflections today are being written open the last day of classes with my grade 4 students. The summer holidays commence tomorrow. My intentions are to not feel lost - but to take this holiday to work toward an understanding of my self. I hope to motivate myself not to sit idle with the passing days. It is such a psychological swing to flip so quickly from the often overwhelming tumult of teaching with its structures and demands, to all at once have complete freedom and no assigned plans for the day. I intend to push myself physically, expand and broaden my thinking and to convalesce with nature as often as possible. I will use this time to find my next thing, now that I have been ten months away from rock climbing. I must find a new indulgence and passion to balance my work, so as to not be completely consumed by it. I am in the middle of my life, and must live completely in the moment, for, if I am always looking forwards and backwards, I can never see where I truly am - here in the now. The present: a place where we are no longer lost if we can realize our true selves. As life is unpredictable (for example the film opportunity with Fox), we never truly know where we are headed, so to be lost is a product of our imaginations.

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Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes… even you.

~ Anne Lamott

As of now, I am officially on summer holidays. Need to unplug and unwind. Need a break from the rigours and emotional demands of everyday. I feel exhausted. The question is how to unplug and recharge? Solar power is the answer! Sit in the sunshine, read and then embrace each and every moment of the day, recharged.

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And I think to myself: what a wonderful world.

~ Louis Armstrong

This is such a wonderful world, though, so often we allow negativity to hijack our perspective. This causes me to think on the words of Confucius: “Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it”. No matter how bad things seem to be, there is always something beautiful that we can see or find if we strive to see it. I think of the alpine wildflowers that grow in the harshest of climates, to bloom for a few weeks, and then to sleep again beneath the craggy rocks, ice and scree. This is truly an example and metaphor for the beauty which abounds.

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If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.

~ Lao Tzu

My mindfulness course through the University of the Pacific begins today. Though I have been trying for over two decades to live by Lao Tzu’s words, I am hoping that this undertaking assists me to live more in the present - to serve as a refresher for those things that I have put into practise, but, perhaps have allowed to become sloppy in form. It is a Fundamentals of Mindfulness course, so much of it is review. However, despite our experience in any area, there is a great benefit to revisiting the basics. I still experience bouts of anxiety and depression, though they are much farther and fewer than those I experienced in previous times. They still manage to take hold of my thoughts and become gremlins of self depreciation, doubt and fear. Being aware of what these negative gremlins is essential, the challenge is not allowing negative or despairing thoughts about things beyond one’s control to dominate one’s psyche. I am in control of myself alone. I must live fully and completely, and not allow other’s choices, perceptions or negativity to contaminate the moment. I must leave things of this nature outside of me, and experience life coming from within and pushing out in a spirit of positivity, compassion, joy and love to mingle with the universe and to be absorbed in all things.

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Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.

~ Aristotle

Isolating one’s self is difficult with all of the masks which we wear and roles that we play. Is there a single self in all of this, or are we all of these external selves born of that which is within our being? Is the actor the role or is there a governing self from which all these arms attach to as they reach outward? “Of these things I’ve become” is tattooed on my arm as it is part of my story depicted through ink on skin. I believe there is a central core of self, but, as we are shaped by our experiences and genetics, I wonder to what extent it exists independently… energy matter. We often plays roles in which we are uncomfortable, and others where we are happy. Is this perhaps the looking glass of our true inherent selves?

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The wound is where the light enters you.

~ Rumi

This quotation by Rumi makes sense as one intentionally focuses on that which is hurting. Healing is becoming stronger - to fortify the body and make it whole again with an increased sense of resilience. I got a new tattoo today - opening my skin to the ink, which will then heal and hold a message of significance - the separation of self, held together - mind and body - each of it’s own, unifying the Five Koshas. Once healed, that part of my skin will be adorned with far more meaning for me. Through this wound, the light enters. All that we endure and survive, though sometimes taking us to the breaking point, does make us stronger if we are willing to do the necessary things to make it so. All failure is an opportunity to learn. All hurt is an opportunity to heal. With no black, there can be no white - the yin and yang are necessary to understand opposites and to then determine what it is we shall pressure internally and through our interactions with others.

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I have the impression that many of us are afraid of silence. We’re always taking in something - text, music, radio, television, or thoughts - to occupy the space. If quiet and space are so important for our happiness, why don’t we make more room for them in our lives?

~ Thich Nhat Hahn

I so often crave and need silence after working all day, but never seem to get enough of it. Some nights, it feels like there are lesions on my brain - as though it is physically cut, scraped and scratched. Now, with summer holidays and my daughter sharing her time between my home and my ex-wife’s place, I am getting and appreciating the peace to the depths of my being. I realize how tired I truly am and that my body and mind have been pleading for a reprieve from the rigours of my working life. The taxing demands of my occupation take so much, and this year was particularly a difficult one beyond the school walls: daughter’s best friend being hit, dragged and killed by a transit bus, helping her to navigate the emotions of her first real dealings with death, aside from the loss of pets. The emotions of separating from my wife after nearly 21 years together was exceptionally exhausting on an emotional level, excruciated through the legal aspects and formulation of our separation agreement. I willingly took much less than I was entitled to, much to the chagrin and protests of my lawyer. For me, freedom comes before money and materialism and freedom was all I sought; a freedom I should have reached for a decade ago. Lastly, there was the chaos of buying my new home as there was so much tied up with my separation and, while the resources were there, attaining them was rife with struggles and complications. I am, however, free. I do appreciate the peace afforded by my freedom. It does appear to be all or nothing, and, while not experiencing it thus far, I fear boredom as so much time can allow the gremlins to hold my mind hostage as they feed me their doubting and negative thoughts (when I refer to my gremlins, it is based on a book written by Rick Carlson titled How to Tame Your Gremlin, which was recommended to me by my therapist years ago when I was dealing with the worst aspects of my PTSD. No, I do not hear voices.). I do find myself a bit lonely, after being constantly surrounded by my students and staff. Solitude is a good thing, however I do long for company and good conversation. I need to motivate myself to put my bike rack on the Fiat and then head out on a road or trail.

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Just because my path is different, doesn’t mean I’m lost.

~ unknown

We all have our paths to walk, but are rarely intimate with our own.  I am glad that I motivated myself to install my bike rack on the Fiat, and then headed out for the trails at Elk Island National Park on my mountain bike. The sights, sounds and smells of nature were a treat for the senses, as I enjoyed the exertion of riding, my muscles alive and body enveloped in sweat, cleansing. 

I have also been enjoying playing music in several sessions in my man loft (unlike my old house which had a subterranean room where I played music and could be appropriately called a man cave, my present music room is in the upstairs of my home.). Though often frustrated by my perceived self-image of severely lacking in musical prowess, it feels so good to sing and play my guitars, mandolin, bodhran and Irish whistles. I do tend to enjoy a dram or two of whiskey when I play, but, in moderation, this is one of life’s pleasures that I greatly enjoy.

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It is no measure of good health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

Krishnamurti’s message says all that really needs to be said. When one reflects on the meaning of these words, we can observe the roots of violence, apathy, lack of fulfillment, despair and a world run by conformity, corporations and media. We need to be the change by being our selves. If all you read, listen to, watch and do is empty of any sort of truly qualitative components or aspects, then how can we ever feel the joy of fulfillment? How can we make this world better if we stew in our apathy? How can we be who and what we are if we complicity wear the masks of conformity assigned to us by society or our employers. I have often felt a pariah on the periphery of society, walking to the beat of my own drum, though I know that, through my rebellions and decisions, much of it is to a more palatable conformity; i.e. punk rock. Much of what I have done has not always followed a conventional path, but mine is a spirit of poetry and adventure, thus I wander as I must and try to adhere to those things which make sense and feel appropriate. I believe my intentions are to always do good. The Buddha said: “Believe nothing, now matter where you have read it or who has said it… unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense.” To not do this is to not think critically. We must inform ourselves and not be fearful of who accepts us. We must accept ourselves. Anything else may please others, but leave us empty and hollow.

CBC Does a Story on Meditation and Yoga at Balwin School

I was very excited recently when Andrea Hunkar from the CBC came to Balwin School for a feature story on our daily Yoga and Meditation practices. If you wish to see the story, the web edition is available at:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/balwin-school-an-oasis-for-refugee-and-immigrant-students-1.2863869

The story also ran several times throughout the day on both CBC radio and television, in addition to being picked up by the CBC's national desk.

While this story tends to focus quite a bit on myself - a spotlight with which I tend to shy away from, it must be stressed that none of the good things that transpired to create this story would have been possible without the absolute support, buy-in and efforts of the entire staff at Balwin. The story also fails to mention my colleague, Munira Wazir. Munira deserves as much credit - if not more - than anyone at our school for making our practice what it is today. Munira and I worked solidly as a team to create all of this, and it is a shame that she was never mentioned as she most certainly deserves to be recognised for her contributions and efforts!

In closing, there is no formula or script from which one can take what we have done at Balwin that can be simply transferred and implemented elsewhere. Rather, it should simply be a catalyst for other schools to see the needs of their particular demographic and to pursue a holistic approach to serving their students. Serendipity had it that I arrived at Balwin with my vast experience in Yoga and Meditation, and was able to apply this to my group of students; all of whom were refugees with degrees of PTSD. Fortune truly blossomed into its proverbial lotus when Munira joined my classroom, with a similar background. From there, our love for the students and passion for our work led us onward, as it still does today.





++++Here is the original story that I sent to the media, resulting in the CBC story. At the time of writing, I am also awaiting word on whether Britain's Yoga Magazine will run part of the story.

Balwin: A Memoir On Mindfulness Mediation and Yoga for Refugee Children and Education Excellence

By Ed Meers

My name is Ed Meers, and I am a teacher at Balwin School. I am also a certified Yoga instructor who has specialised largely in PTSD. I have been a Yoga and Meditation practitioner for over 20 years. I initially started teaching Yoga in schools approximately 7 years ago where I offered Yoga as an options class at Highlands Jr. High. Five years ago, I moved to Balwin School where I was teaching in the Transitions program. This program was for refugee students with little or no prior schooling (grades 3-6), and no English language skills. I am now the ELL coordinator at Balwin, and teach ELL to students grades 3-9.

In the northeast corner of Edmonton lies a small piece of the Global Village. Balwin is an inner city K-9 school, comprised largely of immigrants, refugees and students from lower socioeconomic backgrounds.

When Balwin is showcased in the news, it is typically with a negative slant. For several years, Balwin was rated at the bottom provincially in terms of academic achievement, and was known for having murders committed along its immediate boundaries four years in a row, the last being a decapitated human head.

Perhaps more disturbing than having a human head found in the alley behind your classroom, was the students reaction – or lack of reaction – from such an event. Sadly, many of the students at Balwin have come from refugee camps and situations in countries such as Somalia, Afghanistan and Iraq where they experienced unimaginable traumas. The evidence of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is prominent in our student population, ranging from the inability to self-regulate to physical violence against staff and other students. Between the affects of PTSD, coming to a new country, new culture, learning a new language in addition to curriculum, and, for many, learning to be in a school for the first time, it has presented an incredible challenge for all parties involved, and, perhaps, sheds a bit of light on why Balwin often scores low provincially when it comes to raw academic scores. Students straddle between the new world in which they find themselves, and their old world which was rife with violence and, often, religious fundamentalism.

Growing up is difficult in general. One of my students who, quite honestly, is more of a son to me than pupil, will tell me that “one day Allah is going to hit the world with a big stick and I am going to have to cut off your head”. When I ask why would he do this, does he not care about me, he replies “yes, but it’s not me doing it. It’s Allah guiding my hand”. The challenges these students face, and those who are desirous of assisting them to succeed academically, are immense.

One of my former students, now in grade 9, from Djibouti, came up to me not long ago and gave me a big hug, then told me that her aunt was murdered - shot in the head – the previous day, back in Djibouti. This student has been through so much in her young life. In Djibouti, she was raped, lived outside and witnessed such horrors as seeing her aunt try to set herself on fire because she could no longer tolerate being a woman in this country. The suicide attempt had failed, so they killed her by ramming a nail in her head. Upon coming to Canada, her father lost his leg and later died. When she first arrived, she was extremely volatile and violent. She would have anxiety attacks so drastic, the we had to call 911 a few times as we were unable to revive her. Now, as a teenager, she has one foot in her traditional Muslim culture, and, the other in Western culture. We have concerns about her joining gangs, drug use, etc.This story repeats itself over and over again in our school. These are the children we serve, and offers a bit of insight into the massive barriers that we encounter as Educators.

Ultimately, this is a story of success. I have been teaching at Balwin for half a decade. Originally, I was hired as a Transitions teacher. This program, for which funding was recently ended, focused on students who specifically were new to Canada, from refugee camps and had little or no previous formal schooling. While my class was small and I had a cultural broker to assist me sometimes, there was seldom a significant difference between the students in my class and those making up the majority of other classes. Overall, we were looking at approximately 50% of students being English as a Second Language (ESL) school-wide, a statistic that remains about the same today (though I would say these statistics reflect a lower percentage than what I perceive to be the case in terms of numbers). These ESL students are not those coming from peaceful places with a culture similar to our own here in Canada. Instead, the majority of our students are of Somali background, with others coming from troubled or impoverished parts of the Middle East and South America. The resources to support these learners are quite different and extensive than supporting a newcomer who is from a place like France or Germany. In my first year, 5 teachers went on stress leave, fights were a daily occurrence – sometimes using rocks and pencils as weapons. There was often chaos and little learning happening. We had to assess how we could affect change. Given the situation, staff were dealing with children who came from what I would call “alpha” cultures – large families, interned in camps; a place where only the strong survived and the loudest were fed. In Canada, we do our best to nurture all students with inclusion and differentiation, often perceiving those attempting to become “alpha’s” in a negative light due to their aggressiveness and difficulty being a team player. Understanding the “why”, we could now ascertain the “how” to affect positive change. As we identify the problem, we can begin working on developing solutions.

With my class being the least restrictive in terms of curricular mandates and of a smaller size, but also of perhaps the most concentrated of negative and violent behaviours, I introduced daily Yoga and meditation. A practicing Yogi myself for nearly 20 years and a certified Yoga instructor, and also as a person with PTSD, I understood the value and impact that such a daily practice could potentially have on students. The movement of Yoga, coupled with the calming affect meditation can have and the amygdala and sympathetic nervous system, were, in my opinion, important first steps in helping students to withdraw from their fight or flight mode and engage in learning. From here, I needed to establish a set of classroom rules – which I referred to as “Our Classroom Agreement” – as a way to keep behaviours in check, develop community, empathy and create an environment conducive for learning. These rules were compiled based largely on the Tribes program which I had trained in previously, in addition to other readings and personal experiences. The result was the following:

1.      No put-downs

2.      Always listen

3.      Respect

4.      No fighting

5.      We all belong

6.      Never give up

7.      You control you

Success did not come quickly, and my first year was difficult. In all honesty, every year has pushed me to my limits. Still, abiding by my own rule #6, I continued to persist. A large part of making these ideas work was to develop positive relationships with my students and their families. At the time, most of my students were strong Muslims from Somalia, and accepting that meditation and prayer were different things did not come easy.

However, over time and with more relationship building which included learning a bit of Somali myself (and, since: Serbian, Romanian, Farsi, on top of my smattering of Slovak, French, German and Spanish), and Balwin’s organization of monthly information nights for parents who were new to Canada went a long way in building bridges and making Balwin a community hub; as well as providing us with the rare opportunity to have translators and effectively communicate with parents. So, again, by never giving up, these strategies began to have a positive effect.

After witnessing these success stories, our Principal proposed that we do morning meditation with all the classes. So we did, with even further success. Then we decided to take things a step further and agreed, in the interests of truly building a positive school community, that we should gather all the students from K-9 in the gym every morning for meditation. I can honestly say, five years in, that the impacts have been profound. School violence and conflict has reduced significantly as students utilize meditation techniques to calm down and self-regulate, and academics have increased in positive results. In my opinion, there is a direct correlation to the settling and peace within our school, and increase in academic success, and our mindfulness practices. Research tends to support the benefits of adding a mindfulness meditation and Yoga practices to school curriculums. Given the affects such practices appear to be having at a school with needs like Balwin, one might assume that schools with more stability would also gain profoundly from implementing such practices.

Balwin: A Memoir On Mindfulness Mediation and Yoga for Refugee Children and Education Excellence

In the northeast corner of Edmonton lies a small piece of the Global Village. Balwin is an inner city K-9 school, comprised largely of immigrants, refugees and students from lower socioeconomic backgrounds.

When Balwin is showcased in the news, it is typically with a negative slant. For several years, Balwin was rated at the bottom provincially in terms of academic achievement, and was known for having murders committed along its immediate boundaries four years in a row, the last being a decapitated human head.

Perhaps more disturbing than having a human head found in the alley behind your classroom, was the students reaction – or lack of reaction – from such an event. Sadly, many of the students at Balwin have come from refugee camps and situations in countries such as Somalia, Afghanistan and Iraq where they experienced unimaginable traumas. The evidence of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is prominent in our student population, ranging from the inability to self-regulate to physical violence against staff and other students. Between the affects of PTSD, coming to a new country, new culture, learning a new language in addition to curriculum, and, for many, learning to be in a school for the first time, it has presented an incredible challenge for all parties involved, and, perhaps, sheds a bit of light on why Balwin often scores low provincially when it comes to raw academic scores. Students straddle between the new world in which they find themselves, and their old world which was rife with violence and, often, religious fundamentalism.

Growing up is difficult in general. One of my students who, quite honestly, is more of a son to me than pupil, will tell me that “one day Allah is going to hit the world with a big stick and I am going to have to cut off your head”. When I ask why would he do this, does he not care about me, he replies “yes, but it’s not me doing it. It’s Allah guiding my hand”. The challenges these students face, and those who are desirous of assisting them to succeed academically, are immense.

One of my former students, now in grade 9, from Djibouti, came up to me not long ago and gave me a big hug, then told me that her aunt was murdered - shot in the head – the previous day, back in Djibouti. This student has been through so much in her young life. In Djibouti, she was raped, lived outside and witnessed such horrors as seeing her aunt try to set herself on fire because she could no longer tolerate being a woman in this country. The suicide attempt had failed, so they killed her by ramming a nail in her head. Upon coming to Canada, her father lost his leg and later died. When she first arrived, she was extremely volatile and violent. She would have anxiety attacks so drastic, the we had to call 911 a few times as we were unable to revive her. Now, as a teenager, she has one foot in her traditional Muslim culture, and, the other in Western culture. We have concerns about her joining gangs, drug use, etc.This story repeats itself over and over again in our school. These are the children we serve, and offers a bit of insight into the massive barriers that we encounter as Educators.

Ultimately, this is a story of success. I have been teaching at Balwin for half a decade. Originally, I was hired as a Transitions teacher. This program, for which funding was recently ended, focused on students who specifically were new to Canada, from refugee camps and had little or no previous formal schooling. While my class was small and I had a cultural broker to assist me sometimes, there was seldom a significant difference between the students in my class and those making up the majority of other classes. Overall, we were looking at approximately 50% of students being English as a Second Language (ESL) school-wide, a statistic that remains about the same today (though I would say these statistics reflect a lower percentage than what I perceive to be the case in terms of numbers). These ESL students are not those coming from peaceful places with a culture similar to our own here in Canada. Instead, the majority of our students are of Somali background, with others coming from troubled or impoverished parts of the Middle East and South America. The resources to support these learners are quite different and extensive than supporting a newcomer who is from a place like France or Germany. In my first year, 5 teachers went on stress leave, fights were a daily occurrence – sometimes using rocks and pencils as weapons. There was often chaos and little learning happening. We had to assess how we could affect change. Given the situation, staff were dealing with children who came from what I would call “alpha” cultures – large families, interned in camps; a place where only the strong survived and the loudest were fed. In Canada, we do our best to nurture all students with inclusion and differentiation, often perceiving those attempting to become “alpha’s” in a negative light due to their aggressiveness and difficulty being a team player. Understanding the “why”, we could now ascertain the “how” to affect positive change. As we identify the problem, we can begin working on developing solutions.

With my class being the least restrictive in terms of curricular mandates and of a smaller size, but also of perhaps the most concentrated of negative and violent behaviours, I introduced daily Yoga and meditation. A practicing Yogi myself for nearly 20 years and a certified Yoga instructor, and also as a person with PTSD, I understood the value and impact that such a daily practice could potentially have on students. The movement of Yoga, coupled with the calming affect meditation can have and the amygdala and sympathetic nervous system, were, in my opinion, important first steps in helping students to withdraw from their fight or flight mode and engage in learning. From here, I needed to establish a set of classroom rules – which I referred to as “Our Classroom Agreement” – as a way to keep behaviours in check, develop community, empathy and create an environment conducive for learning. These rules were compiled based largely on the Tribes program which I had trained in previously, in addition to other readings and personal experiences. The result was the following:

1.      No put-downs

2.      Always listen

3.      Respect

4.      No fighting

5.      We all belong

6.      Never give up

7.      You control you

Success did not come quickly, and my first year was difficult. In all honesty, every year has pushed me to my limits. Still, abiding by my own rule #6, I continued to persist. A large part of making these ideas work was to develop positive relationships with my students and their families. At the time, most of my students were strong Muslims from Somalia, and accepting that meditation and prayer were different things did not come easy.

However, over time and with more relationship building which included learning a bit of Somali myself (and, since: Serbian, Romanian, Farsi, on top of my smattering of Slovak, French, German and Spanish), and Balwin’s organization of monthly information nights for parents who were new to Canada went a long way in building bridges and making Balwin a community hub; as well as providing us with the rare opportunity to have translators and effectively communicate with parents. So, again, by never giving up, these strategies began to have a positive effect.

After witnessing these success stories, our Principal proposed that we do morning meditation with all the classes. So we did, with even further success. Then we decided to take things a step further and agreed, in the interests of truly building a positive school community, that we should gather all the students from K-9 in the gym every morning for meditation. I can honestly say, five years in, that the impacts have been profound. School violence and conflict has reduced significantly as students utilize meditation techniques to calm down and self-regulate, and academics have increased in positive results. In my opinion, there is a direct correlation to the settling and peace within our school, and increase in academic success, and our mindfulness practices. Research tends to support the benefits of adding a mindfulness meditation and Yoga practices to school curriculums. Given the affects such practices appear to be having at a school with needs like Balwin, one might assume that schools with more stability would also gain profoundly from implementing such practices.

Stretching Beyond Contemporary Yoga

I grow weary of the present Yoga fad. When I look at a Yoga magazine and see people in bodies blessed by air brushes and fortunate genetics, contorted in incredible positions, sporting bank breaking outfits, I want to cringe. What is happening in the modern popularisation of Yoga is particularly sad as many who participate on the bandwagon truly believe that they are practising Yoga. There was recently an Ashtanga Yoga competition here in town, making this incredible path of existence into a debauchery of judging as found in figure skating. The list of supplements people "must" take according to the many journals dedicated to Yoga offers false hopes and a fast buck for those selling the latest snake oil. My Facebook page is riddled with feel good and heart warming quotations which seldom see the light of day in reality. Perhaps, for a Yogi, I sound negative and should simply be grateful that Yoga is now so accessible and that people are getting off the couch and becoming active. I am grateful for this, but I also feel it necessary to state what I perceive to be the obvious, just as a friend should have the courage to step up and tell another the hard truth when they need to hear it.

So, before I turn my readers off with rancour, I will simply offer the following from William J.D. Doran. In his essay, Mr. Doran outlines the Eight Limbs of Yoga. What are the Eight Limbs of Yoga you ask? Precisely. You have been going to Yoga for over a year now and this is the first you are hearing of them for many of you. The simple fact is most Yoga classes you will take consist of only three of the eight limbs: asana (physical stretches), pranayama (breathing exercises) and touch of dhyana (meditation). After reading Doran's essay, perhaps then you will see the potential for Yoga to be an amazingly powerful life and world changer, provided that you adhere to them just as you adhere to the teachings of your Yoga teacher when in class. While a Yoga instructor can not possibly entertain all eight limbs in a class, I believe that they have a responsibility to guide their students toward reading more about Yoga philosophy. Whether the student decides to pursue this knowledge rests in that individuals decision to do so. Otherwise, both figuratively and metaphorically you will be nothing more than a poser (being unable to resists a pun), and you will not enjoy the full benefits of practise. 

The Eight Limbs , The Core of Yogaby William J.D. Doran

      
          The practice of yoga is an art and science dedicated to creating union between body, mind and spirit. Its objective is to assist the practitioner in using the breath and body to foster an awareness of ourselves as individualized beings intimately connected to the unified whole of creation. In short it is about making balance and creating equanimity so as to live in peace, good health and harmony with the greater whole. This art of right living was perfected and practiced in India thousands of years ago and the foundations of yoga philosophy were written down in The Yoga Sutra of Patanjali, approximately 200 AD. This sacred text describes the inner workings of the mind and provides an eight-step blueprint for controlling its restlessness so as to enjoying lasting peace.
         The core of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra is an eight-limbed path that forms the structural framework for yoga practice. Upon practicing all eight limbs of the path it becomes self-evident that no one element is elevated over another in a hierarchical order. Each is part of a holistic focus which eventually brings completeness to the individual as they find their connectivity to the divine. Because we are all uniquely individual a person can emphasize one branch and then move on to another as they round out their understanding.
       In brief the eight limbs, or steps to yoga, are as follows:

1. Yama :  Universal morality
2. Niyama :  Personal observances
3. Asanas :  Body postures
4. Pranayama :  Breathing exercises, and control of prana
5. Pratyahara :  Control of the senses
6. Dharana :  Concentration and cultivating inner perceptual awareness
7. Dhyana :  Devotion, Meditation on the Divine
8. Samadhi :  Union with the Divine

       The first two limbs that Patanjali describes are the fundamental ethical precepts called yamas, and the niyamas. These can also be looked at as universal morality and personal observances. Yamas and niyamas are the suggestions given on how we should deal with people around us and our attitude toward ourselves. The attitude we have toward things and people outside ourselves is yama, how we relate to ourselves inwardly is niyama. Both are mostly concerned with how we use our energy in relationship to others and to ourselves.

       The yamas are broken down into five "wise characteristics." Rather than a list of dos and don’ts, "they tell us that our fundamental nature is compassionate, generous, honest and peaceful." ⁱ They are as follows:

I. Yamas (Universal Morality)

1. Ahimsa – Compassion for all living thingsThe word ahimsa literally mean not to injure or show cruelty to any creature or any person in any way whatsoever. Ahimsa is, however, more than just lack of violence as adapted in yoga. It means kindness, friendliness, and thoughtful consideration of other people and things. It also has to do with our duties and responsibilities too. Ahimsa implies that in every situation we should adopt a considerate attitude and do no harm.
2. Satya – Commitment to Truthfulness 
Satya means "to speak the truth," yet it is not always desirable to speak the truth on all occasions, for it could harm someone unnecessarily. We have to consider what we say, how we say it, and in what way it could affect others. If speaking the truth has negative consequences for another, then it is better to say nothing. Satya should never come into conflict with our efforts to behave with ahimsa. This precept is based on the understanding that honest communication and action form the bedrock of any healthy relationship, community, or government, and that deliberate deception, exaggerations, and mistruths harm others. ⁱⁱ   
3. Asteya - Non-stealing 
Steya means "to steal"; asteya is the opposite-to take nothing that does not belong to us. This also means that if we are in a situation where someone entrusts something to us or confides in us, we do not take advantage of him or her. Non-stealing includes not only taking what belongs to another without permission, but also using something for a different purpose to that intended, or beyond the time permitted by its owner.ⁱⁱⁱ   The practice of asteya implies not taking anything that has not been freely given. This includes fostering a consciousness of how we ask for others’ time for inconsiderate behavior demanding another’s attention when not freely given is, in effect, stealing.
4. Brahmacharya - Sense control 
Brahmacharya is used mostly in the sense of abstinence, particularly in relationship to sexual activity. Brahmacharya suggests that we should form relationships that foster our understanding of the highest truths. Brahmacharya does not necessarily imply celibacy. Rather, it means responsible behavior with respect to our goal of moving toward the truth. Practicing brahmacharya means that we use our sexual energy to regenerate our connection to our spiritual self. It also means that we don’t use this energy in any way that might harm others.^iv
5. Aparigraha - Neutralizing the desire to acquire and hoard wealth 
Aparigraha means to take only what is necessary, and not to take advantage of a situation or act greedy. We should only take what we have earned; if we take more, we are exploiting someone else. The yogi feels that the collection or hoarding of things implies a lack of faith in God and in himself to provide for his future.^v Aparigraha also implies letting go of our attachments to things and an understanding that impermanence and change are the only constants.

       The Yoga Sutra describes what happens when these five behaviors outlined above become part of a person's daily life. Thus, the yamas are the moral virtues which, if attended to, purify human nature and contribute to health and happiness of society.

II. Niyama (Personal Observances)

       Niyama means "rules" or "laws."  These are the rules prescribed for personal observance. Like the yamas, the five niyamas are not exercises or actions to be simply studied. They represent far more than an attitude. Compared with the yamas, the niyamas are more intimate and personal. They refer to the attitude we adopt toward ourselves as we create a code for living soulfully

1. Sauca - Purity 
The first niyama is sauca, meaning purity and cleanliness. Sauca has both an inner and an outer aspect. Outer cleanliness simply means keeping ourselves clean. Inner cleanliness has as much to do with the healthy, free functioning of our bodily organs as with the clarity of our mind. Practicing asanas or pranayama are essential means for attending to this inner sauca. Asanas tones the entire body and removes toxins while pranayama cleanses our lungs, oxygenates our blood and purifies our nerves. "But more important than the physical cleansing of the body is the cleansing of the mind of its disturbing emotions like hatred, passion, anger, lust, greed, delusion and pride." ^vi
2. Santosa - Contentment 
Another niyama is santosa, modesty and the feeling of being content with what we have. To be at peace within and content with one's lifestyle finding contentment even while experiencing life’s difficulties for life becomes a process of growth through all kinds of circumstances. We should accept that there is a purpose for everything - yoga calls it karma – and we cultivate contentment 'to accept what happens'. It means being happy with what we have rather than being unhappy about what we don't have.
3. Tapas – Disciplined use of our energy 
Tapas refers to the activity of keeping the body fit or to confront and handle the inner urges without outer show. Literally it means to heat the body and, by so doing, to cleanse it. Behind the notion of tapas lies the idea we can direct our energy to enthusiastically engage life and achieve our ultimate goal of creating union with the Divine. Tapas helps us burn up all the desires that stand in our way of this goal.  Another form of tapas is paying attention to what we eat. Attention to body posture, attention to eating habits, attention to breathing patterns - these are all tapas.
4. Svadhyaya – Self study 
The fourth niyama is svadhyaya. Sva means "self' adhyaya means "inquiry" or "examination". Any activity that cultivates self-reflective consciousness can be considered svadhyaya. It means to intentionally find self-awareness in all our activities and efforts, even to the point of welcoming and accepting our limitations. It teaches us to be centered and non-reactive to the dualities, to burn out unwanted and self-destructive tendencies.
5. Isvarapranidhana - Celebration of the Spiritual 
Isvarapranidhana means "to lay all your actions at the feet of God." It is the contemplation on God (Isvara) in order to become attuned to god and god's will. It is the recognition that the spiritual suffuses everything and through our attention and care we can attune ourselves with our role as part of the Creator. The practice requires that we set aside some time each day to recognize that there is some omnipresent force larger than ourselves that is guiding and directing the course of our lives. ^vii

III. Asanas (Body postures)

       Asana is the practice of physical postures. It is the most commonly known aspect of yoga for those unfamiliar with the other seven limbs of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra. The practice of moving the body into postures has widespread benefits; of these the most underlying are improved health, strength, balance and flexibility. On a deeper level the practice of asana, which means "staying" or "abiding" in Sanskrit, is used as a tool to calm the mind and move into the inner essence of being. The challenge of poses offers the practitioner the opportunity to explore and control all aspects of their emotions, concentration, intent, faith, and unity between the physical and the ethereal body. Indeed, using asanas to challenge and open the physical body acts as a binding agent to bring one in harmony with all the unseen elements of their being, the forces that shape our lives through our responses to the physical world. Asana then becomes a way of exploring our mental attitudes and strengthening our will as we learn to release and move into the state of grace that comes from creating balance between our material world and spiritual experience.

        As one practices asana it fosters a quieting of the mind, thus it becomes both a preparation for meditation and a meditation sufficient in and of itself. Releasing to the flow and inner strength that one develops brings about a profound grounding spirituality in the body. The physicality of the yoga postures becomes a vehicle to expand the consciousness that pervades our every aspect of our body. The key to fostering this expansion of awareness and consciousness begins with the control of breath, the fourth limb – Pranayama. Patanjali suggests that the asana and the pranayama practices will bring about the desired state of health; the control of breath and bodily posture will harmonize the flow of energy in the organism, thus creating a fertile field for the evolution of the spirit. "This down-to-earth, flesh-and-bones practice is simply one of the most direct and expedient ways to meet yourself. … This limb of yoga practice reattaches us to our body. In reattaching ourselves to our bodies we reattach ourselves to the responsibility of living a life guided by the undeniable wisdom of our body."^viii To this B.K.S. Iyengar adds: "The needs of the body are the needs of the divine spirit which lives through the body. The yogi does not look heaven-ward to find God for he know that He is within."^ix 

IV. Pranayama (Breath Control)

       Pranayama is the measuring, control, and directing of the breath. Pranayama controls the energy (prana) within the organism, in order to restore and maintain health and to promote evolution. When the in-flowing breath is neutralized or joined with the out-flowing breath, then perfect relaxation and balance of body activities are realized. In yoga, we are concerned with balancing the flows of vital forces, then directing them inward to the chakra system and upward to the crown chakra.

        Pranayama, or breathing technique, is very important in yoga. It goes hand in hand with the asana or pose. In the Yoga Sutra, the practices of pranayama and asana are considered to be the highest form of purification and self discipline for the mind and the body, respectively. The practices produce the actual physical sensation of heat, called tapas, or the inner fire of purification. It is taught that this heat is part of the process of purifying the nadis, or subtle nerve channels of the body. This allows a more healthful state to be experienced and allows the mind to become more calm.^x As the yogi follows the proper rhythmic patterns of slow deep breathing "the patterns strengthen the respiratory system, soothe the nervous system and reduce craving. As desires and cravings diminish, the mind is set free and becomes a fit vehicle for concentration."^xi 

V. Pratyahara (Control of the Senses)

       Pratyahara means drawing back or retreat. The word ahara means "nourishment"; pratyahara translates as "to withdraw oneself from that which nourishes the senses." In yoga, the term pratyahara implies withdrawal of the senses from attachment to external objects. It can then be seen as the practice of non-attachment to sensorial distractions as we constantly return to the path of self realization and achievement of internal peace. It means our senses stop living off the things that stimulate; the senses no longer depend on these stimulants and are not fed by them any more.
       In pratyahara we sever this link between mind and senses, and the senses withdraw. When the senses are no longer tied to external sources, the result is restraint or pratyahara. Now that the vital forces are flowing back to the Source within, one can concentrate without being distracted by externals or the temptation to cognize externals.
       Pratyahara occurs almost automatically when we meditate because we are so absorbed in the object of meditation. Precisely because the mind is so focused, the senses follow it; it is not happening the other way around.
       No longer functioning in their usual manner, the senses become extraordinarily sharp. Under normal circumstances the senses become our masters rather than being our servants. The senses entice us to develop cravings for all sorts of things. In pratyahara the opposite occurs: when we have to eat we eat, but not because we have a craving for food. In pratyahara we try to put the senses in their proper place, but not cut them out of our actions entirely.
       Much of our emotional imbalance are our own creation. A person who is influenced by outside events and sensations can never achieve the inner peace and tranquility. This is because he or she will waste much mental and physical energy in trying to suppress unwanted sensations and to heighten other sensations. This will eventually result in a physical or mental imbalance, and will, in most instances, result in illness.

       Patanjali says that the above process is at the root of human unhappiness and uneasiness. When people seek out yoga, hoping to find that inner peace which is so evasive, they find that it was theirs all along. In a sense, yoga is nothing more than a process which enables us to stop and look at the processes of our own minds; only in this way can we understand the nature of happiness and unhappiness, and thus transcend them both.^xii 

VI. Dharana (Concentration and cultivating inner perceptual awareness)

       Dharana means "immovable concentration of the mind". The essential idea is to hold the concentration or focus of attention in one direction.  "When the body has been tempered by asanas, when the mind has been refined by the fire of pranayama and when the senses have been brought under control by pratyahara, the sadhaka (seeker) reaches the sixth stage, dharana. Here he is concentrated wholly on a single point or on a task in which he is completely engrossed. The mind has to be stilled in order to achieve this state of complete absorption."^xiii

       In dharana we create the conditions for the mind to focus its attention in one direction instead of going out in many different directions. Deep contemplation and reflection can create the right conditions, and the focus on this one point that we have chosen becomes more intense. We encourage one particular activity of the mind and, the more intense it becomes, the more the other activities of the mind fall away.

       The objective in dharana is to steady the mind by focusing its attention upon some stable entity. The particular object selected has nothing to do with the general purpose, which is to stop the mind from wandering -through memories, dreams, or reflective thought-by deliberately holding it single-mindedly upon some apparently static object. B.K.S. Iyengar states that the objective is to achieve the mental state where the mind, intellect, and ego are "all restrained and all these faculties are offered to the Lord for His use and in His service. Here there is no feeling of 'I' and 'mine'."^xiv

       When the mind has become purified by yoga practices, it becomes able to focus efficiently on one subject or point of experience. Now we can unleash the great potential for inner healing. 

VII. Dhyana (Devotion , Meditation on the Divine)

       Dhyana means worship, or profound and abstract religious meditation. It is perfect contemplation. It involves concentration upon a point of focus with the intention of knowing the truth about it. The concept holds that when one focuses their mind in concentration on an object the mind is transformed into the shape of the object. Hence, when one focuses on the divine they become more reflective of it and they know their true nature. "His body, breath, senses, mind, reason and ego are all integrated in the object of his contemplation – the Universal Spirit."^xv

       During dhyana, the consciousness is further unified by combining clear insights into distinctions between objects and between the subtle layers of perception. "We learn to differentiate between the mind of the perceiver, the means of perception, and the objects perceived, between words, their meanings, and ideas, and between all the levels of evolution of nature."^xvi

       As we fine-tune our concentration and become more aware of the nature of reality we perceive that the world is unreal. "The only reality is the universal self, or God, which is veiled by Maya (the illusory power). As the veils are lifted, the mind becomes clearer. Unhappiness and fear – even the fear of death – vanishes. This state of freedom, or Moksha, is the goal of Yoga. It can be reached by constant enquiry into the nature of things."^xvii Meditation becomes our tool to see things clearly and perceive reality beyond the illusions that cloud our mind.

VIII. Samadhi (Union with the Divine)

       The final step in the eight-fold path of Yoga is the attainment of Samadhi. Samadhi means "to bring together, to merge." In the state of samadhi the body and senses are at rest, as if asleep, yet the faculty of mind and reason are alert, as if awake; one goes beyond consciousness. During samadhi, we realize what it is to be an identity without differences, and how a liberated soul can enjoy pure awareness of this pure identity. The conscious mind drops back into that unconscious oblivion from which it first emerged.
       Thus, samadhi refers to union or true Yoga. There is an ending to the separation that is created by the "I" and "mine" of our illusory perceptions of reality. The mind does not distinguish between self and non-self, or between the object contemplated and the process of contemplation. The mind and the intellect have stopped and there is only the experience of consciousness, truth and unutterable joy.
       The achievement of samadhi is a difficult task. For this reason the Yoga Sutra suggests the practice of asanas and pranayama as preparation for dharana, because these influence mental activities and create space in the crowded schedule of the mind. Once dharana has occurred, dhyana and samadhi can follow.

       These eight steps of yoga indicate a logical pathway that leads to the attainment of physical, ethical, emotional, and psycho-spiritual health. Yoga does not seek to change the individual; rather, it allows the natural state of total health and integration in each of us to become a reality.^xviii